Cheeky Monkey Is Coming. Let’s Invite Cafe Boy.

I always like how looking at my own blog statistics can feel like a sneaky affair. It’s like finding a shopping list, reading PostSecret, or following your friend unbidden on Twitter. It’s a mundane, sometimes compelling look at what people are craving and hoping to accomplish. Blog stats are like brain snapshots. Little electronic Polaroids of your brainwaves.

The terms that have led people here are telling me that someone is earnestly looking for “Cafe Boy,” and has reached out to Google him more than a few times. Believe me, I understand. I have been looking for Cafe Boy myself, and many times losing him in one place, find him in another (only to lose him yet again). He’s elusive, but you can be pretty sure he has scruffy brown hair, a book in one hand, and a slight air of poetic sophistication that might be easily confused with Library Boy. Cafe Boy is usually alone and looks as though he would like nothing other than to talk to me. (Yes, me.) Please let me know if you find him.

It’s also obvious that a lot of people are looking for information about the soon-to-be-open Cheeky Monkey Deli in St. Paul. When I first saw the signs on the windows of the old Zander’s space, I stopped by Solo Vino to ask for more information. Last time, it was planned to open by the end of October. This week, I was told it would open by the end of the month. Peering in the windows at the empty space made me wonder if there would be another four-month extension, but we can hope for the best. From what I’ve heard, it’s a truly independent affair owned by none other than the proprietor himself, and wine will flow freely from store to store. I’m thrilled that the neighborhood will have a casual place to grab a bite of good food to eat. As it is, we only have the co-op, which I frequent, but usually to eat the same few things each time.

In the meantime, let’s bide our time with more entertaining brain snapshots from my stats. Care to imagine what these other people are looking for?

“Take a girl out for New Years.” A girl was daydreaming about the perfect New Years celebration her lazy boyfriend might orchestrate for her because she didn’t want to do it herself. This is a little passive-agressive if you ask me.

“Bean French tete.” Tête-à-tête? This person would like to have an intimate conversation over French lentil soup, or maybe haricot verts. In either case, I could be enlisted for that one.

“Guess what edible item is in the brownie.” I don’t know, but it doesn’t sound like a game I want to play!

“Petite Lolita in gynecological visit.” Do I want to know what this one is about? I am hoping that a woman left her pocket edition of Lolita at the doctor’s office. Indeed.